any sexual abuse of a child by a relative or other person in a position of trust and authority over the child. It is the violation of the child where he or she lives—literally and metaphorically. A child molested by a stranger can run home for help and comfort. A victim of incest cannot.

Incest happens between father and daughter, father and son, mother and daughter, mother and son. It also happens between stepparents and stepchildren, between grandparents and grandchildren, between aunts and uncles and their nieces and nephews. It can also happen by proxy, when live-in help abuses or a parent's lover is the abuser; though there is no blood or legal relationship, the child is betrayed and violated within the context of family.

No one knows how many incest victims there are. No definitive random studies on incest involving a cross section of respondents have been undertaken. No accurate collection systems for gathering information exist. The statistics change depending on a number of variables: the population surveyed, the bias of the researcher, the sensitivity of the questions, and the definition of incest used.

Sometimes called "rape by extortion," incest is about betrayal of trust, and it accounts for most child sexual abuse by far. In 1977, Diana E. H. Russell, Ph.D., author of The Secret Trauma: Incest in the Lives of Girls and Women and Sexual Exploitation: Rape, Child Sexual Abuse and Workplace Harassment, questioned 930 San Francisco women and found that 38 percent had been sexually abused by the time they had reached the age of 18. She further found that of those women who were victims, 89 percent were abused by relatives or family acquaintances.



Criminal prosecution

The narrow legal definitions of incest (generally requiring proof og vaginal penitration), together with the stringent requirements for proof, the meager punishments generally handed down, and the trauma for victims who must testify, tend to make the criminal prosecution of incest a doubtful and sometimes impossible enterprise.

In most cases criminal prosecution for incest can be undertaken only if the victim is a minor at the time the abuse is discovered. To complicate the issue, however, most incest does not come to light until the victim reaches adulthood and begins to remember what happened. By then, the statute of limitations on criminal offenses has usually long since expired.

Incestuous acts range from voyeurism and exhibitionism to masturbation, to rape and sodomy, to bestiality, to ritualized torture in cults. Incest may or may not include penetration, may or may not be violent. It may happen only once or continue for decades. It usually exists in secret, but not always.

One reason for the imprecise nature of the incest statistics is that when children try to tell, they aren't believed. Another is that many victims don't recognize certain behaviors as abusive. Small children understand very little about sex. Even kids who use "dirty" words often don't understand what those words mean. And as little as they know about normal sex, they know less about deviant sex. They simply trust that whatever happens to them at the hands of those who take care of them is supposed to happen. Children know that adults have absolute power over them, and even in the face of the most awful abuse, they will obey.

Difficult as it is for girls to talk about their abuse, it is even harder for boys. Boys are taught that they must be strong and self-reliant. For a boy to report that he was abused, he must admit weakness and victimization. If he was molested by a male, then there can be added fears surrounding the tiopic of sexuality.


In young children who are victims of incest, the vast array of physical and psychological symptoms suffered include injuries to the mouth, urethra, vagina, and anus; bed-wetting and soiling; fear of everyone of the perpetrator's gender; nightmares and/or sleep loss; compulsive masturbation, precocious sexual knowledge, and sexual acting out; running away, suicide attempts, and sexually transmitted diseases. There are also reported cases of babies with pelvic inflammatory disease so severe that as an adult she will never be able to conceive, along with the fact that not all babies with AIDs were born with the disease.

Sexually abused children teach themselves to endure assault. Instead of learning to protect themselves, they learn that they can't protect themselves. As adults they can be blind to dangers others would find obvious. They may freeze or go limp when threatened. Someone who has never been abused can say no, can walk or run away, can scream and fight. The incest victim often doesn't know what to do except to wait for the danger to be over.

Child incest victims often become adult rape victims.  Many incest victims as adults choose abusive partners.





• If a child tells you that he or she has been abused, believe it.

• If a child tells you the abuse occurred a long time ago, don't assume that it isn't still going on.

• If a child says something vague, such as "My bottom hurts," or is strangely silent or aggressive, ask questions. Don't get hysterical in front of the child. Just ask and listen. Ask why and how and where and what do you mean and show me. Remember that a child's vocabulary is limited.

• Don't try to gloss over the subject. Don't say "It's no big deal." Get help for the child.

• Do not wash the child.

• Save the child's clothes so that they can be examined for physical evidence.

• Take the child to a hospital emergency room.

• Call the local police and the local child-welfare department. If you live in an area so remote that you have no local agencies, call the National Child Abuse Hot Line.

• If you remember being abused yourself as a child, or think you might have been, call your local rape-treatment center or mental-health clinic.

• Take whatever time you need to find the right therapist. Therapy is often included under health plans.

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